Tuesday, February 25, 2014

A fear I had which never came to pass

As a young divorced mother,  working hard to support  two children and myself, I always had the fear that I might not live long enough to see them grow up and start out on their own.

Today I was reading about a young father who has a similar fear, although he is lucky enough to have a wife who could take over if he passed away. I understood his angst as I had gone through it myself. It brought back that memory to me of long ago.

In the days that my children were small, I carried as much insurance on my life as I could afford in order to provide for them should I pass away.  Although that would have been financially helpful, who would raise my children?  Who would provide the day to day guidance in order to stay on the straight path?

The children would be so vulnerable to unhealthy influences unless they were placed in a Godly home which would be a shield against the temptations all young people must face.  Peer pressure, especially in the teenage years is so powerful.

If I had died, the children's father might have been awarded them but he was not a good choice as he had gotten into drugs and alcohol in a big way.  To this day, more than forty years later, he remains in such a state, poor fellow.

I know of a situation right now where the mother has died, leaving two children, age 12 and 14 behind. They live with their grandmother who wishes to keep them with her but the father has the priority to have them even though he has similar problems such as my poor ex-husband has.

If I were the grandmother, I would fight tooth and nails to prevent this from happening. I would represent myself in the court even though I am not a trained person.  I know there would be very little chance of me winning over a person who is trained but at least my grandchildren would know that I cared enough to fight for them and this would remain in their minds forever.

This, of course, would not be a wise decision to represent yourself, but on the other hand, is it a wise decision just to let the children go into a situation where there is danger to them?

I think my heart would rule over my head in this case and I would do everything in my power to save my grandchildren from a detrimental environment.

In my situation, I was fortunate that I lived and was able to see my children stable and living good lives which is all that I ever wanted for them.

I hope for the sake of the young father that he lives for many years to come and that, like me, his fears do not come to pass.

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