Ah, such an interesting topic and one dear to my heart!
I would love to start a discussion on this issue and comments are more than welcome. E-mail comments are also much appreciated for those who cannot figure out how to make comments on blogs. It is so difficult sometimes and faster to send an e-mail!
In fact, it should be quite an interesting topic as men and women think very differently and their expectations are very different..
Speaking as a woman and how I think, if a gentleman is interested in me, then he should show his interest in actions as well as words.
If he is interested in getting to know me, he could invite me for a coffee or for a meal and pay for it. The money is not the issue here, I can afford to pay for myself but it is his willingness to spend from what he has, on me. If he is a poor man, he could be creative and think of ways to show his interest and not spend over what he can afford.
I really don't believe in this Dutch Treat business when it comes to a relationship. I also don't believe in taking advantage of his generosity either and would try and suggest reasonable priced places to go which would definitely include free concerts, picnics in the park, walks, joining groups together etc. etc.
To repay, I would try and do little things for him which I hope he will be wise enough to realize that I am pulling my own weight in the relationship. (In this case, it sure is a lot of weight to pull!)
I also may even cook him a good meal, if it is a special occasion such as a birthday or some special occasion for him.
A relationship is something that builds in trust over a period of time and well worth the effort. I have noticed that the best relationships in people that I know, have been with people who have similar interests, backgrounds and built on trust for each other.
Those are my two cents worth - what is your opinion? Jump in, have fun and I particularly would like to hear the male side of the issue.
This could become a real interesting debate. Hopefully it will brighten up a dull February day or week!
I would love to start a discussion on this issue and comments are more than welcome. E-mail comments are also much appreciated for those who cannot figure out how to make comments on blogs. It is so difficult sometimes and faster to send an e-mail!
In fact, it should be quite an interesting topic as men and women think very differently and their expectations are very different..
Speaking as a woman and how I think, if a gentleman is interested in me, then he should show his interest in actions as well as words.
If he is interested in getting to know me, he could invite me for a coffee or for a meal and pay for it. The money is not the issue here, I can afford to pay for myself but it is his willingness to spend from what he has, on me. If he is a poor man, he could be creative and think of ways to show his interest and not spend over what he can afford.
I really don't believe in this Dutch Treat business when it comes to a relationship. I also don't believe in taking advantage of his generosity either and would try and suggest reasonable priced places to go which would definitely include free concerts, picnics in the park, walks, joining groups together etc. etc.
To repay, I would try and do little things for him which I hope he will be wise enough to realize that I am pulling my own weight in the relationship. (In this case, it sure is a lot of weight to pull!)
I also may even cook him a good meal, if it is a special occasion such as a birthday or some special occasion for him.
A relationship is something that builds in trust over a period of time and well worth the effort. I have noticed that the best relationships in people that I know, have been with people who have similar interests, backgrounds and built on trust for each other.
Those are my two cents worth - what is your opinion? Jump in, have fun and I particularly would like to hear the male side of the issue.
This could become a real interesting debate. Hopefully it will brighten up a dull February day or week!
4 comments:
of course the guy should pay! express his interest in this great woman who at first is a friend and later on,,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm along comes the real good stuff! holding hands, kisses, and perhaps more!!! ah but son you gotta earn it! the trust needs to grow over time. far too many have jumped to the real good stuff too fast. myself included. too fast and oops! suddenly it`s not working out! darn i should have gotten to know this person first. hopefully i`ve learned from past mistakes. yes i agree the man should make the first move of..would you like to get together for tea or coffee? perhaps a meal. and yes the "gentleman" should pay! yes start showing youre interested you smuck or watch her say " i dont think he cares". hmmmmmmm a walk by the waterfront is nice. how about a movie? would you like to drop by my place for dinner? would you like to meet my cat? oh the things he could tell you about me! lol. yes people, enjoy each others company. get to know the likes and dislikes. if theres some spark thats cool. the makings of a relationship. if no spark, hey you may still at least have made a friend.
Hi Kevin,
Loved your comment!
I agree that trust must be earned, it takes years sometimes and getting to know the person in all circumstances.
I'm not talking about friendship that is for the moment, but is lasting for the lifetime.
I am so blessed to have friends still from my school days.
Thanks a lot for being the first one to get involved in this topic.
Let's see who else will have the courage to jump in!!!
Hi Wilma
I always dated old fashioned men. My husband paid for everything when he asked me on dates. I come from a younger generation. I wanted my husband to let me pay at times when we were courting. I am an independent woman. Earned my University degree and am completely self sufficient. My husband adds to my life but my mother always raised me not to rely on a man. I like confident men who are comfortable with womens liberation but still know how to treat a woman special and do nice things that are thoughtful. I asked my husband out on our first date. If I liked a man I got to know him and had no trouble making friends and inviting him to do things. Chris actually said no to our first date and told me he had to work on his sisters car. I did not let this discourage me and asked him out again another time. Good luck hope you get lots of comments.
Great, glad to get another opinion. I, too, am old fashioned in that way - its not the money, it's the thought.
I am extremely independent, as you know, but I still maintain the position that if a fellow asks you out, he should pay!
If I asked him out, then I would pay. Fair is fair! It would not happen very often though, as I still think it is up to the man to invite. You were a brave young lady to invite Chris first. Mind you, you are much younger than I am and times have changed.
I agree about having a thoughtful man, a little gesture such as holding the door open, opening up the car door, walking on the outside on the sidewalk, these manners are what I am comfortable with!
Isn't this an interesting topic! Thanks again for your comment which I really enjoyed!
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